Vector Vector

Biophysiological Control Loops

There’s an enormous body of evidence suggesting that training the body trains the mind, and that training your mind leads training your body.

Most of my improvement originates from physical exertion. I started writing publicly after committing to do 50 consecutive pushups.

I wanted to quit after 30, but I told myself I could do another 10. When I got to 40 I told myself I could do another 5. When I got to 45 I told myself I could do 3 more. When I got to 48, I told myself I could do 2 more. When I got to 50, I told myself I could do 1 more.

The next three days I was continually reminded by my sore arms and chest that I was in fact able to stay focused, and finish the challenge(read opportunity).

IF I had not completed it(as has happened to many of my internal goals) I recalled in the moment the weakness I’ve felt after capitulating and redirecting to some other new goal, usually with some lame rationalization. No one knows that I have failed so many times except me. Nor does it seem reasonable to demand someone else hold me accountable for my own goals. I have found the failure of not completing the goals stated to friends and family weights far more heavily on me than it does for myself personally.

Though no one calls me out the state of anxiety produced often brings up imaginary scenarios where I have to rationalize my failure to complete the request or self defined goal.

I recall Tim saying: If you don’t have a prototype reactor a year from now I’d be shocked.” It’s now 15 months since he said that. I think about it far too often. Sure it isn’t reasonable to expect, but the goal was defined, and now it weighs on my shoulders, alongside numerous other potential improvements yet unfulfilled.
I have a tendency to think a bit too grandiose.

Yesterday I ran into a minor problem(read: opportunity). My bedroom door closes on its own due to the doorframe, it has one of those little wedge inserts to keep it open, but I am not used to the wedge and tend to close the door when the wedge is present, causing it to get significantly more stuck.

A self inflicted problem which shouldn’t be. I thought to myself, all this needs are some magnets one on the doorstop, one on the door. I have magnets. So I unscrewed the doorstop, pulled off the rubber end, and placed a small neodymium magnet in the rubber cap and replaced it. The I got another bigger magnet which felt like it would hold the door open, and put sticky tape on the other side. Replaced the doorstop, and when I ran the door into the stop/magnet sticky tape; it stuck and stayed open!

This whole process may have taken 5 minutes. Yet it may be considered a massive return on investment. Another successfully completed challenge. Another recent memory of overcoming even self inflicted problems(read: opportunities). Stacking these little wins, I write them down on a sticky note or a scrap of paper, and place them into a little box labeled “wins”. A psychological technique for building myself up.

One final story, not yet completed.

When I first moved into my new apt, there was a treadmill, I walked on it and was happy that I would be able to use it in the mornings to aid myself in waking up better. Sadly when I returned I found that it had broken! When the start button is pressed, it instantly goes to max speed! I tried running on it, which lasted maybe 60 seconds. Undeterred, I opened it up and found the part number for the control board and ordered a replacement. When it arrived, I was too busy with other things to spend the 3o minutes to an hour replacing it. When I finally did replace it, the same thing happened… Again another week passed and I went to see what else I could learn form the internet to fix it. They all recommended replacing the board, which I had already tried. I could entirely replace it with hardware I already have, it’s a 3hp 130VDC motor. I have a 40A Solid State Relay I could use with an Arduino or an raspberry pi. But that would take too long. After such frustration, it occurred to me that I could just push the tread conveyor myself, so I did! Turns out that’s a pretty solid workout! Engages more muscles, and is less noisy! Immediately my mind wondered if I could capture the energy from the DC motors I am spinning but I figure that would be more effort than it’s worth. Even if I could sustain 3hp for a full hour(unlikely in my current shape). I’d only have ~2Kwhrs of energy. 20cents worth of power.

Now in the evening when Murphy is in bed, I push against the conveyor, and train my body, and think about all the wins, and all the failures, the failures drive me, the wins drive me. I will overcome. I will convert my problems into opportunities.

When you’re getting into uncomfortable territory.

Act First!

Your Thoughts and Feelings will follow.